Even surrounded by the people I love, I’ve never felt more alone. None of my friends at school are Filipino. During lunches, I find myself silent as my Indian friends chatter about plans for upcoming festivals, references to Bollywood movies and debates over their favorite Indian foods. Their cultural bond reminds me of what I lack: Filipino representation. Here at Lynbrook, where diversity is celebrated, I’m struggling to find ways to honor my heritage.
Growing up, I was the only Filipino in school. My culture is a large part of my identity that I’ve always wanted to share, but in elementary school, friendships are often formed over common ethnic backgrounds. One lunch, I sat quietly with my kare-kare, its peanut sauce and juicy meat, an aroma I loved but others found odd. Nearby, two girls had chow mein packed for lunch and instantly bonded over the familiar taste of their culture. Other kids spoke in their shared languages, exchanging jokes I couldn’t understand. I found myself alone as my friends’ effortless connections left me out.
In middle school, the feeling of isolation persisted. Miller Middle School had many Asian students, but none I met were Filipino, leaving me feeling further isolated. My last hope was high school. I heard Lynbrook was largely Asian and had clubs representing different cultures, raising my hopes of finding a fellow Filipino. But after my first week of school, I hadn’t met any.
For as long as I could remember, people have never been able to guess my ethnicity. They don’t ask and just assume I’m Chinese. I’ve been spoken to in Mandarin and asked about plans for Chinese festivals. When I correct them and say I’m Filipino, I’m instantly met with a barrage of questions.
Other cultures at Lynbrook are recognized, making mine feel overlooked. Holi allows Indian students to share their festival with the school. Chinese Culture Night gives Chinese students a chance to teach and represent their culture. Last year, a Dia De Los Muertos event celebrated and taught students about Mexican culture. As one of the few Filipino students at Lynbrook, I wonder what opportunities we have to share our culture in the same way.
Sometimes, I catch myself wishing I wasn’t Filipino. The moments where people around me don’t seem to understand or appreciate my culture can make it hard to embrace it. But I remember our delicious food, the way we treat each other like one big family and the bond we share through Catholic faith. My strong connection to my culture is the foundation of who I am. It teaches me to respect my elders and reminds me of the importance of family. Throughout my years in school, I’ve learned that being Filipino isn’t something to be ashamed of. I’m proud to represent my country, even if it’s not always acknowledged in the world around me.
