Scrolling through social media, you’ll quickly find him: sipping on a oat milk, 80% sugar matcha latte, reading Sylvia Plath in a cafe while pretending to study, Clairo blasting through his wired earbud… he’s the “performative male,” an internet archetype that has quickly garnered attention and spilled into real life. Across the community, students can be seen trying to emulate similar images in performative male contests.
Although this lighthearted mockery of performativity has an element of fun and even encourages progressive habits like reading feminist literature, it’s arguably counterintuitive: the concept of a performative male actually discourages authenticity and reinforces gender stereotypes by painting specific habits as desirable. Social media has distorted its message of empowerment.
A performative male typically pretends to enjoy interests such as matcha and Labubus to attract and appeal to women. Although the term is new, it echoes older archetypes such as “gym bros” and “soft boys.” While gym bros are associated with traditional ideas of masculinity through sometimes ostentatious fitness obsessions, soft boys are akin to modern performative males, superficially embracing emotional expression and artistic interests.
This type of performativity pervades Lynbrook culture in the form of “nonchalance,” from minimal texting to restrained displays of enthusiasm. This behavior is called performative because of its shallow motivations, acting simply to impress and chase the newest social media trends. In neighboring school Cupertino High School, there was even a “Matcha Monday” spirit day, themed after the concept of performative males.
“The performative male trend is an iteration of an old trope, and has evolved into a meme in a way the soft boy was not,” said Andrew Edelblum, assistant professor of marketing at the University of Dayton. “The omnipresence of social media in our lives has made it virally potent.”
Indeed, social media encourages performativity. Since algorithms are built around likes, comments and engagement — metrics of attention and validation — many people feel compelled to curate their identity for approval and instant gratification. With little to hold them accountable, it’s easy to fake authenticity.
“Perhaps young people are often using the phrase ‘performative’ when they actually mean ‘inauthentic,’” said Melissa Brown, assistant professor of communication at Santa Clara University. “Young men notice that if they post about reading bell hooks, they get more comments from women than when they post about going to the gym.”
Previously, most online conversations around masculinity have circulated around the “alpha male” mentality, with influencers such as Andrew Tate promoting the toxic belief that the ideal male is hypermasculine and shows little emotion. Lately, performative males have overtaken hypermasculinity in popularity, especially in younger communities, and the “ideal” male has changed to become more open-minded. In theory, this archetype is challenging conventional gender norms by allowing men to explore more stereotypically feminine interests. For example, men feel encouraged to read poetry, or display vulnerability and empathy.
“According to feminist scholars like Judith Butler, gender is performative and we’re constantly performing what we believe we should be acting like,” Edelblum said. “I think that’s what these guys are doing. It’s fun to laugh at the absurdity of what it means to be a human today, male or female.”
The trend could have served as a gateway for men to genuinely learn more about feminine issues and appreciate traditionally feminine things. Additionally, its lighthearted nature allows for humor, a way for people to have fun and engage with conversations about masculinity in an accessible way. Instead, it has been twisted to shame men who genuinely enjoy these things.
“This trend is promoting the idea of expressing your own identity, and is linked to things like matcha or reading, which are positive for your growth,” junior Bryan Tian said. “Being performative can have positive connotations and I think of it as a compliment.”
In an age where personalities are curated for the camera, it’s difficult to distinguish reality from fiction, causing society to automatically jump to conclusions and label people as fake. Although the trend is valuable in calling out inauthenticity, it takes a negative turn. By labeling any man who engages in feminine interests as performative, gender stereotypes are reinforced, suggesting that drinking tea or liking astrology are somehow incompatible with being male.
The stereotype also stresses anti-intellectualism. By outcasting men who publicly read, it seems to mock individuals for taking on intellectual endeavors.
“The trend is further constraining what it takes to be a male behaving appropriately in the modern world, making it confusing for young men,” Edelblum said. “The discourse has said that the Andrew Tate side of masculinity is no good, but if you embody the performative male, being palatable to the female audience, that isn’t good either.”
People who genuinely enjoy these things are most affected by this trend, as they may be wrongly labeled. Thus, the trend might have the opposite effect: pushing people away from these interests even as they try to avoid society’s labels. For instance, satirizing men who simply want to sit in a public place to read can stigmatize intellectual endeavors.
In the San Francisco performative male contest in August, hundreds of men were pitted against each other to be as fake as possible in a spectacle that branded any feminine activity an attention-seeking joke. But this is the problem: trying to be attractive, from style to personal interests to music taste, shouldn’t be part of a contest culture — it should be something that stems from genuine interest.
“Although this trend can give men who are more feminine a shield against backlash, it can also harm those who liked these things before,” sophomore Saanvi Kakani said. “They get upset with things they were previously interested in since now they’re being labeled as a meme.”
Students should not contribute to this cycle of cynicism online. It’s important to harness the positive aspects of the trend, such as being open to exploration, but not to twist it by ridiculing vulnerability and self-expression.
If people refrained from shaming others, this trend could illuminate important and progressive ideas like feminism to help society become better as a whole. Contrary to what social media might show, accepting and encouraging positive actions is how progress will be made, not by humiliating others.
“Social media does not need to be fully authentic since performativity is what we all do,” Brown said. “We should learn to shift our relationships with devices, divesting from parasocial relationships and have more in-person interactions for authenticity.”
