A conversation between different versions of myself, split between the characters ME and her inner voices, RISKY, CAUTION and WHY, who all respond to FRIEND. ME is the main character, trying to find balance in the midst of conflicting thoughts.
ACT 1
[RISKY, CAUTION and WHY guide ME in her conversation with FRIEND. ME is conflicted about who to listen to]
FRIEND: Do you want to sneak out to watch a movie?
RISKY (in a hushed voice): Go out now. Everyone’s asleep, you can do whatever you want. Get your bike quickly and quietly.
ME: Let’s go.
FRIEND: I can’t hang out anymore, I don’t feel too good.
ME: It’s okay, I’ll go to Safeway. I’ll get you a basket of food. I’ll download a movie. We can watch a movie together. I’ll fix whatever problem you are going through. I’ll help you.
FRIEND: It’s too much, I need space.
ME: Ok…are you okay? I’m worried about you. We can talk through everything, I’m here. I’ll do everything you need. I’ll fix it.
FRIEND: Stop. I don’t want your help.
CAUTION: I don’t think it’s a good idea to go. It’s cold. You need to take a flashlight, bring a big jacket and make sure your chest is covered. Anyone could be outside — even if you think you’ll have fun, you shouldn’t go.
ME: Okay, I’ll stop talking.
But now I sit in my room quietly, with my computer’s blaring light slowly rotting my eyes. I scream but nobody can hear me, lost in the void of my room. I’m in a desert and each grain of sand is a desolate piece of myself I give away.
WHY: Why is it not safe outside? Why would someone hurt a girl biking on the street? Why do you need a jacket?
ME: Why can’t I just be normal? It’s like I try again and again to find the perfect balance in every part of my life, but it never works. I’m either too cautious or too reckless. All or nothing. Sometimes things don’t go the way I want them to. I don’t know why — but I wish I did. I hate not knowing.
ACT II
[ME begins to understand that she needs to live her life embodying all her inner voices instead of listening to just one]
ME: Maybe I just need to focus on myself. I need to stop relying on other people to make me happy.
RISKY: Come on…no need to be so cautious. People want to talk to you. Just take a risk and open up to others.
ME: Hello? Do you want to hang out today?
FRIEND: Sure! Do you want to do something tomorrow too?
CAUTION: Don’t forget your jacket! Protect yourself.
ME: Actually, I don’t really feel good, so maybe another day? I need to take care of myself.
WHY: Why can’t you go tomorrow?
[ME takes a moment to collect her thoughts, feeling the tug-of-war within herself between the urge to be spontaneous and the need to be careful. She wraps the jacket around herself like a quilt]
ME (slowly): Maybe I need to start living one step at a time. I’ll go out for a little bit, but I’ll bring a jacket and a flashlight. I’ll find someone to go with me. Maybe it’s about navigating the unknown with a touch of preparation — being prepared never hurt anyone.
[End scene]
