Why I hate April Fool’s Day

Belinda Zhou

More stories from Belinda Zhou

It’s only 9 a.m. and your best friend has called you and divulged to you her pregnancy. When you awoke from your slumber, your father was dangling a pair of car keys to your dream car, the $123,600 matte black Mercedes Benz G-Wagon, in front of your groggy face. Your customarily deadpan older sister just sauntered into your room, a reticent smile on her face, and bestowed upon you extra tickets for the Shawn Mendes concert tonight.

April Fools!

In devastating actuality, your “pregnant” friend was “pregnant” with a food baby what’s new? Unless you were looking forward to an extravagant baby shower for Big Macs and large fries, you’ve been lied to! The pair of car keys that your father dangled lovingly in front of you when you woke up? Those were actually his old car keys from his 1980 Audi Quattro that he drove when he was 17 years old it’s been 38 years now, does that car even exist anymore? Now, the most disheartening prank of them all? The “Shawn Mendes” concert tickets. You won’t be hearing his angelic voice tonight, rather, you’ll be hearing the oh-so angelic voice of your 6-year-old cousin performing at his Sesame Street-themed birthday party tonight.

Surprise! It’s everyone’s least favorite holiday: April Fools or should I say, the day that brings a deluge of ill-spirited jokes and pranks. It’s the malicious “trick” of trick-or-treat, except you’re not rewarded with a treat. It’s the glorious day when you must second-guess everything that anyone tells you, whether it’s in real life or on social media platforms.

This year, you were probably clobbered with a flood of pranks, especially on social media. Some of the brands that pulled a prank that genuinely elicited my excitement were Amazon Publishing and Facetune. Amazon Publishing released its new author delivery service, which, in short, allows you to “request” a special author to make an appearance wherever and whenever you want them to, such as at birthday parties or school events. Facetune, a photo-editing app that allows you to retouch your skin, hair and more, came out with a version of their app called “Catune,” which is essentially Facetune but for your cats, which I thought was hilarious and iconic.

The worst part about April Fools is when brands sometimes like to pull their prank before April Fools, which not only makes their claim more convincing, but also lifts our hopes. Take Tarte Cosmetics for example they released an eyeshadow palette a day before April Fools that included bright and extravagant greens and blues. While I would never use a palette with a such color scheme, the palette elicited elation from makeup users all over the world who were weary of Tarte’s typical nude and burgundy-themed eyeshadow palettes. Tarte’s tactic of releasing this palette before April Fools day, however, was just part of their elaborate plan to make their claim conceivable, consequently disappointing avid makeup users.

At this point, you probably think I’m being exceedingly overdramatic, but here are some legitimate reasons as to why I hate April Fools’ Day: for starters, I’m gullible I have a difficult time differentiating a joke from the truth. Sometimes, pranks that brands impose upon their consumers genuinely excite me, only for me to feel despondency when it’s revealed that it was just a hoax all along. Moreover, the majority of April Fools pranks are mean-spirited, if not outright malicious. Friends may play pranks that take an unexpected turn, abusing the trust in their friendship, and for what? So that John could live through his short-lived amusement of seeing Sarah’s heartbroken tears when he “breaks up” with her? In other words, April Fools is almost like an excuse for people to do insensitive and insensible things that would typically be deemed intolerable.

I’m not trying to assert the notion that anyone who plays some elaborately-planned prank on April Fools’ Day is inherently a malicious person because even pranksters like them deserve a day to showcase their witty and ill-spirited personalities.

APRIL FOOLS!